Monday, June 5, 2017

Rest well deserved

My main goal for hanging on through these years has been successfully accomplished. I have kept all my promises.

There is no longer any reason for me to exist. I refuse to hang on just for the sake of being alive. I also cannot live for someone else.

I have been alone and lonely long enough. I have been devoid of hope long enough. I want my solace now.

I've earned my rest.

Nowhere else

I don't want to do this anymore.

I have become old, decrepit and pathetic. I am an emasculated shell, no different than a zombie, except more cursed than them. I still retain consciousness, which is in itself a constant badgering of "what if's" and "could have's".

I won't wait until I care so little as to merely lie down on a random sidewalk. Is this the kind of life I should continue to cling to?

I do not want to live.